I bring good news, a king has been born!

She’s actually, well, a she, and 16 years old, but her blog is new and full of glorious, hilarious potential. Like I said, good news.

The name of this oh-so-revered blogger is unicyclelouise.

Such a brilliant name, so witty and colloquial! Yes, yes, I’m exaggerating in this awful attempt at advertising a blog but in all seriousness, she is destined for great things.  I have complete faith that she will perform many literary-miracles, and bring many people to the blog-faith through her wise words.

Aside from the biblical metaphors, the only way I can describe unicyclelouise‘s blog is as having a perfect balance of useless ramblings and thought-provoking ideas.

As you can hopefully tell, it is fabulous. I was actually quite reluctant to mention her on here, simply because I know that as soon as you get a whiff of her witty banter you will flock like athletically-gifted sheep around her.

The other day she wrote a post loosely centered around results day. For anyone reading this who has been blessed to not live in England, the results day for 17 and 18 year olds is today and the one for 16 year olds is in a week. Basically, mine, unicyclelouise‘s and the rest of the 16 year old population results day is coming up.

We have very different approaches to this. She decided to write a vaguely-self-help-y-in-a-good-way post about it, with a dash of insight into how we, as humans (or whatever you want to be, peace) deal with pressure.

She will go far.

I, however, am refusing to acknowledge it. I have this acceptance/denial system. I say I but I’m 96.3% sure most people experience this at least 96.3 times in their life.

Anyway, my theory is that whenever there is something not in my favour (results day, blood tests, paying back money, job applications, cleaning etc.) my brain is like “Nah mate”. I swear I don’t do this deliberately but I just completely block it out and 95 times out of 96.3 forget about it. Now this can actually be quite helpful, there’s no point worrying about something inevitable like results day or blood tests for months, but it becomes a problem when you realise you owe your parents £136 and you have almost zero chance of getting job because you opened every job alert email you got and then promptly never thought about them again, until they had all gone to someone with a lesser tendency to put things off.

I like to call it compartmentalising but in reality it’s just me being hopelessly unorganized when it comes to anything relatively important.

I’m really selling myself here.

So the difference between me and the blog-messiah unicyclelouise, is that will she not end up in debt to her parents, she will not forget to actually apply for a job, and she will most certainly will not compartmentalise to such an extent that she finds herself a week away from results day with no idea how she got here.

She already has one disciple.