Today I had absolutely nothing to write about. Zero embarrassing memories and zero motivation to conjure up more facts about myself (sorry to disappoint). So….I decided to just talk.

THIS PRODUCT MAY CONTAIN EMOTIONS. PART OF MULTIPACK. NOT TO BE SOLD SEPARATELY.

Two (or three?) weeks ago, The Mothership sprung on me that I was being rehabilitated to a foreign and distant planet: Bristol. This land is famously known to be inhabited by the species ‘Bristolians’ and middle class graffiti artists.

Seeing as I know less about Bristol than about myself, don’t take anything I say too seriously.

On that note, I’m going to leave the innocent, naive world of Listing Facts that I have so comfortably lounged in for the entirety of my blog existence and instead revert to the more foreboding, barren land of My Feelings.

When the news of the move was first made aware to me (when The Mothership decided to warn her only daughter that her world was about to be destroyed by a large entity called the New Job), I cried. A lot. Like, a lot a lot. I don’t cry often but when I do, it’s loud and frankly disgusting.

I can’t put into words what it feels like leaving Nottingham, and I wouldn’t anyway because that would be cringey and ew, but it’s pretty bad. However many deformed pigeons swarm the pavements and people that still push past you to get the least holey, food stained seat on the bus, it is my home and I have to say, I quite like it.

I feel like you were expecting a long, tear-jerking dissertation with in-depth descriptions of every traumatic moment of my life, from birth to Physics GCSE, but I’m going to spare you the tissues.

I’m also going to spare you any more pain at my poor attempt of writing something about nothing. It’s pretty impressive, when you think about it. And also when you ‘think about it’, you notice that instead of writing anything marginally interesting or worthwhile, I have managed to float in and out of semi-blog-consciousness since I started this awful post. I’ll try harder next time.

However much I try and pretend not to care, inside I am just a hormonal, emotional wreck, waiting for someone to bring me a bucket of angel delight.